Introspection

I became obsessed. Obsessed of the fact that things are going to be better between us. I am aware that in every relationship there are ups and downs and it could either be the long lasting ones or the ones that were believed to last. I took some wise advice from equally wise friends on how to get over you fast, and what I got were all things that I already knew but the emotional baggage is pulling me away from sanity. I had to put a cork in it and throw it in the ocean where it may never be found---what we had was true, even, but it was temporary. I said so myself, I hated it when I start making sense. I find it funny but extremely difficult when mind's wisdom is battling it out with what the heart induces as a frenzy.

I had skimmed through my old entries and it shook my guts in all sensibilities how I depreciated over time and apparently my good old gorgeous friend V aka ydeptvienda talks about it in her blog (http://ycleptvienda.blogspot.com/2011/08/to-my-emotional-cutter-friend-who.html) with so much compassion and unnecessary sarcasm which I believed might come in handy with respect to dealing with this Sh*t right now.

I always say, people get hurt one too many times and sometimes we just have to suck it up and not skip it, we can not be able to just get by without learning from it, although if indeed, finally, it wouldn't work and both us choose to let go, I would not hate the thought of imagining how amazing life is and the things I have going on before me. To quote one of my good new friend " you must find the courage to love yourself more."

I hate writing about this because I am not even a sucker for romance, and if I was not in this situation I would just brush it off and make a remark about this being trivial and senseless. But, damn it! If it actually happens to you, It holds a tight grip making it hard to shake off.

I figured if I am around people more and if I make myself occupied then I would not think or worry about it too much. Support system is crucial at any time and it will sure surprise everyone including myself how the transition was safe.

I do not put my two cents on everything but if you have only listened and been a little more considerate, you could have enlightened yourself about it.

Take a number...