Introspection

I became obsessed. Obsessed of the fact that things are going to be better between us. I am aware that in every relationship there are ups and downs and it could either be the long lasting ones or the ones that were believed to last. I took some wise advice from equally wise friends on how to get over you fast, and what I got were all things that I already knew but the emotional baggage is pulling me away from sanity. I had to put a cork in it and throw it in the ocean where it may never be found---what we had was true, even, but it was temporary. I said so myself, I hated it when I start making sense. I find it funny but extremely difficult when mind's wisdom is battling it out with what the heart induces as a frenzy.

I had skimmed through my old entries and it shook my guts in all sensibilities how I depreciated over time and apparently my good old gorgeous friend V aka ydeptvienda talks about it in her blog (http://ycleptvienda.blogspot.com/2011/08/to-my-emotional-cutter-friend-who.html) with so much compassion and unnecessary sarcasm which I believed might come in handy with respect to dealing with this Sh*t right now.

I always say, people get hurt one too many times and sometimes we just have to suck it up and not skip it, we can not be able to just get by without learning from it, although if indeed, finally, it wouldn't work and both us choose to let go, I would not hate the thought of imagining how amazing life is and the things I have going on before me. To quote one of my good new friend " you must find the courage to love yourself more."

I hate writing about this because I am not even a sucker for romance, and if I was not in this situation I would just brush it off and make a remark about this being trivial and senseless. But, damn it! If it actually happens to you, It holds a tight grip making it hard to shake off.

I figured if I am around people more and if I make myself occupied then I would not think or worry about it too much. Support system is crucial at any time and it will sure surprise everyone including myself how the transition was safe.

I do not put my two cents on everything but if you have only listened and been a little more considerate, you could have enlightened yourself about it.

Take a number...

Where did I go right?

So, here I was writing off topic about love and how its crazy and how it makes one vulnerable and if you're not lucky enough, you'll find yourself miserable as well. Seriously, what is the right thing to do? Is there ever a safe way to go? complicated is an understatement. I can imagine how hard it is for someone who hates me for thinking that I stole someone from (that person). Now I am miserable. He writes all about it in his blog. I am not a fancy writer, but I get it. Well let me tell you something, I feel for you too. You can't force someone to grow up.

Where did I go right? At first this hilary duff song didn't make any sense but then I figured what it meant to me. I was just reading the entire lyrics and, yeah, now I understand. Extremely appropriate. I also learned about the logical consequence of catch 22, first heard about it in the show LA ink. It means, you are in a situation where you dont want to be involved but you feel like you cant do anything about it because youre already in it. I am happy, but if there are some people involved and both of you just cant seem to make ends meet, would this love ever go somewhere? anywhere. I dread for the time that youd call it off but I wanted to be positive about it, cognitive, as you would say. I made a couple of turns along the road as an attempt to get back on where I first started. But at some point, I no longer knew who was driving. It could only be a matter of time before the road gets bumpy. I hate it when that happens.

Enough

I dont even know where to start. I'd like to think that 5 or 6 years from now, i look back at this moment and just laugh about how I got tangled up into this web of lies and fragments of truth that shouldn't have been there because its very presence just makes it all hard to turn things around. I never knew "love" could be so painful and stupid sometimes. Some people might say, been there done that. Well, I say, I want to skip the tough parts and just get back on track. I am not a bad person, I had no intention of making someone miserable to my advantage, its like what he said, being a third party, is bullshit!-heartless and pointless. I guess I'm never gonna be good enough for anyone. People are always looking for something more, well, I don't have more, I can only give myself. When you give all of yourself, and that other person still wants something more, what is there left for you? Which is why I felt like my entire body just got flushed down to the drain my heart went down with it. I have no objections, Let life take its course.

Testing by cadbury26

Make your own| Clone and edit

NO more non sense

All those recitation wont be getting me anywhere, I need to pass the midterms and the finals to get through 1st semester. It is possible to cover the pointers for the exam but I am extremely nervous, and I am bad in planning my schedule in studying all law subjects.

Political law is still kind of a blur, I am having trouble picking up some of the major points in the book and the discussion although concrete is still a handful. Its funny that its like decoding a secret code and that the author of the consti book was a friend of shakespeare. Sigh! I just hope ill be able to pull through with this.

Think like any justice would?

It was a surprisingly interactive day for me today. Nothing much to say on Civil code, we were on article 36 psychological incapacitation as a ground for legal separation or annulment of marriage. I get the idea but I have yet to read the cases to really substantiate on the matter and the issues.

I was so pumped up again on criminal law today as we digest and discuss the circumstances affecing criminal liability (justifying circumstances) Our professor, fiscal Soriano was i think pleased in a non obvious way about how Ive justified the situation she gave on defense of a stranger. I know how important it is to be aware of certain requisites of these legal provisions because those were basically the baselines of how things should be dealt with. She said I would answer like any judge would-so i took that one as a compliment-I guess. That was a commendation and it meant a lot because that would only mean that I am finally understanding what I am rreading. Not to brag but the situations given were a no brainer, and a nothing like a good common sense would answer the questions.

i am hoping that I could keep it up in all my subjects.

Running in circles

I am physically and mentally drained.
I now have to figure out how I can get my mojo back, but I am going nowhere with it.
Some people can be vile, there are things in life that are just so hard to explain.
I feel like I am under a microscope and some people will do anything to crush me. If its all in my mind, i need professional help.
I guess, I enjoy being alone because it helps me think.
I am free to just stay calm and be free from stress.
Be underrated
be low profile
Free to dream
Live the life
feel Lucky
Defy anything-everything
build-up confidence
Recharge
I imagine looking at the beach and smelling the fresh cool breeze touch my face